First and foremost, it is helpful for a new paralegal to have a general understanding of their attorneys and what makes them tick. As in most professions, it takes a certain personality type to become a lawyer and continue to successfully practice law. Never expect an attorney you work for to see things the way you see them; attorneys see everything very differently than most folks. Don't try to make an attorney see your view of anything. Just accept the fact that his reasoning and views are very affected by his education and training. It is part of what makes him a good attorney, and you really don't want to work for one who empathizes too closely with you and your ideas.

Psychologists have noted that the majority of lawyers are the first-born child in their family; and that the most successful attorneys are the ones born in the middle of their sibling ranks -- the middle child. Reasons for these trends are an "ah-ha" once you think about them. First-born children carry the family's expectations for high performance and success; they also tend to have more natural-born qualities of leadership than other siblings in a family. They are used to being the boss and they expect to boss everywhere they go. An attorney who doesn't have some bossiness in his soul is not a good attorney.

Attorneys who are born as the middle child in their family do exceptionally well professionally, because they are forced into the negotiating position by the facts of nature. In essence, these attorneys are born into a negotiating position for their lives. From birth they learn to negotiate everything in life with everyone they encounter. Remember an attorney who does not negotiate is not really an attorney. Nothing in law is settled without negotiation. The purpose behind lawsuits is to negotiate something that restores a wronged party and/or is a reasonable middle ground for both parties. Middle-child attorneys "get it" in a very personal and powerful way and they are easier to work for than first-born attorneys, since they are more open to both sides of any relationship than are their first-born colleagues.

Understanding your attorney, or group of attorneys, also involves understanding the attorney-paralegal dynamic that is expected in most firms, as well as the individual's personal attitudes. In my own first day as a paralegal, my attorney pulled me inside his office and commanded me to, "Stop apologizing for everything I correct you on. I don't expect you to know everything on your first day, and a continuum of apology is grating. Please stop." It was immediately apparent to me that if I wanted to continue to have my boss's favor, then I needed to smile, shake my head agreeably and say nothing. And I needed to make sure I offered up no more apologies, for anything. Now, my attorney's remarks were a quick lesson on office politics inside of a law firm as well as a large dose of grace from the man who was most important in my career at that firm. Indeed he was full of grace and kindness and he didn't want to go home feeling guilty for it everyday. The dynamics of such things are important to roll around in your head, especially when first starting at a new firm.

Attorneys understand power, position, pecking order, and discretion. If you don't, then take notes in your first days as a paralegal. Do not assume you understand them in the same ways an attorney understands them. For instance, my upbringing taught me that when you professionally serve someone and you make an error, then some sort of compensation is appropriate from you. My religious background taught me that humility is necessary to remain in favor with those in power.

Both of these teachings are true in general and on the surface. But in the context of working in a law firm, I had to rel-earn my application of these teachings. In the first instance, the appropriate "compensation" to a managing attorney is either a simple, "I'm sorry," or, "Let me fix that for you." Sometimes it is both, but never more than that because the attorney just wants the situation fixed. In the second instance, humility in the context of an attorney-paralegal relationship has nothing to do with groveling until the attorney feels guilty for saying anything to you about your error. Appropriate humility for a law firm is to simply smile, agree and correct what needs correcting; anything else is viewed as emotional manipulation or false humility, and will hurt you in your relationship.

It is said that attorneys have really large egos. For the most part, this is true. If you plan to work in law, then get used to it. Accept it. If you can't, then you don't belong in this profession. This should not be an area for you to criticize, even privately among family. The reason is simple: An attorney's ego is much like other requirements in professions, and that is they are the negative side to the necessary quality required for success.

Think of it this way, a preacher man needs to be able to communicate well in public; he needs a strong speaking skill. However, if the preacher is strong in his much-needed skill, then he can be prone to gossip or verbal abuse. Neither of these is desirable in a pastor and can destroy him. But his well-developed tongue talents are a must.

In a small firm, your managing attorney is the attorney who hires you and whose right hand you serve. State laws require every paralegal to be "managed" by an attorney. Although you will do much of the attorney's work, the laws require that he sign off on your work. This helps the states to assure that your work is in compliance with state and local laws and that you have not overstepped your boundaries.

In larger firms, the managing attorney is the attorney to whom all of the staff attorneys or other partners report. He has legal responsibilities very similar to the managing attorney in smaller firms. Ultimately, if state or federal laws are violated by anyone on staff, in the process of doing business, it is this guy who will be dragged to court or prison by state or federal authorities. In the larger firms, you will have an attorney between you and the managing attorney. The guy between you is usually your direct boss or your attorney. This helps the managing attorney to manage his legal responsibility by placing an attorney between you and him, and by him holding that attorney accountable for your work and actions.

Here are some important things to remember about your managing attorney:

• Never assume that you can catch him in the hallway for anything unless he has a publicly understood "open-door policy". He is one of the busiest attorneys in the firm.
• Never take his company policies personally unless he sits you down in his office and tells you that he is implementing something because of you, or unless he publicly recognizes you for your idea and his implementation of it.
• Never expect him to side with you in any disagreement you may have with any attorney or manager; he won't.
• Never expect him to defend you to a client; again, he won't.
• Never expect him to make excuses or defend you to another firm's attorneys; again, he won't. He expects you to be professional at all times with attorneys from other firms regardless of what is said inside your firm about those same attorneys or their firm.

Language and Business Philosophy That Brings Favor From Attorneys

Here are some language and philosophy tips for this shortsection:

Your business philosophy also needs to be well-developed. If you have never given a second thought to business philosophy, then you will want to get yourself to the bookstore or library and read up on the popular gurus. One of the most personally motivating books I have ever read is Zig Ziglar's classic, See You at the Top, written more than two decades ago. My personal copy of this book sits on my desk shelf even now. Whenever I am having a hard time getting the morning steam in my work engine brain, I pull it down and read a chapter. Zig is a classic himself and it is impossible to read this book and not feel like today will be better than yesterday and you can handle anything life throws at you.

Another business philosophy-type book that I find indispensable is Kenneth Blanchard's management classic, The Power of Ethical Management. This little treat helps to underscore the importance of keeping your integrity intact in business, especially when you are tempted to throw it out the window and give someone a 'tit for tat'. He gives tangible examples of how managing your position with ethics will never fail you, even when it appears to temporarily.